Mrs May reinventing the wheel and selling hot air in Italy

Gabriele Bonafede

In Italy, when we want to describe a dodging nonsense speech, we call it aria fritta. Literally “fried air”, it can be translated into English as hot air – and its unpalatable smoke. (Qui lo stesso articolo in italiano)

As Mrs May spoke in Florence, Italy, on how to handle the impossible political jam created by Brexit, there is no better way to define her speech – fried air.

She took a bit of air. Then, added vague sentences flavoured with pointless brexiteers’ molecules, baked it, and packed it all. Finally, she delivered a pleasant smoking nil to British people and Italians in a matter of a few minutes.

What a great cooking for Italians used to thick and spicy spaghetti!

Hum, yes. She added that the UK would cooperate with the EU in security, defence and immigrant crisis, as well as other possible catastrophic emergencies. Thank you Mrs May. How could you be nicer?

And, please, how about ending this unnecessary emergency called Brexit? Maybe stopping this unfaithful imbroglio? Yes, Italy would have been the right place to start thinking about it.




Nonetheless, she went on and on selling fried air – maybe as a homage to Italian cuisine. Maybe not? Well, yes. As French fries would have been too Belgian or, well, too French.

From the moon where she is walking hand in hand with her party, Mrs May is looking at Europe saying, “the UK left EU but not Europe”. This is another specialty. We call it acqua calda (hot water). This, in turn, translates into English as reinventing the wheel. Something that is not usual on the moon – whether hot water or a brand new wooden wheel.

Hot water, in Italy, is slightly more relevant than fried air. It comes from the simple observation that warming-up water will warm water up. From it, it becomes clear that you can keep water as it is by avoiding the simple act of warming it up. Mrs May has maybe discovered it by cooking a bit of spaghetti in Downing Street – or right after landing in Florence.

Another possibility is that the recipe of hot water came directly from Brussels, well preserved in a British negotiator’s luggage traveling with a Eurostar train.

Helped by her rare experience about hot water, Mrs May is maybe starting to understand the whole story. And the story goes, that – May-be – you cannot claim that Great Britain is not anymore in Europe. It seems.




It is just a cooking start. Thus, she is now asking for two more years of fried air – in a hot pot – to get to the point of boiling hot water. In fact, two more years of transition to nowhere are too short and too long at the same time.

The best solution is to tackle the emergency called Brexit by stopping it altogether. As soon as possible and with all possible means, including a decree stating that the wheel was already invented long ago,

Of course, while the time-wheel is spinning fast. Good luck.

By the way, we found the wheel on the cover-image in Wikipedia. By John O’Neill, (User:Jjron) – (wikimedia), CC0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=24925504