US turkeys to ask Trump voting rights to support Christmas

Initially proposed by farmers supporting Trump, the idea is getting very popular among Turkeys-for-Christmas and Turkeys-for-Thanksgiving movements

by Gabriele Bonafede

After voting massively for Trump, US farmers are being hit by Trump’s trade policy. In a push to share their fate with their animals, US farmers are now extending the same idea to turkeys.

The intent is to grant voting rights to turkeys to support Christmas’ celebrations, as long as turkeys support Christmas itself – possibly with the expansion of typical season celebrations. Farmers are therefore petitioning to ask Trump granting voting rights to their turkeys for Christmas.

US farmer’s move is understandable. It is considered even a smart move for obvious economic reasons. Increasing Christmas meals can boost demand for US farmer’s turkeys and therefore help their revenues.

In a bold move, a few farmers have proposed to ask Trump about extension of turkeys’ voting rights for Thanksgiving too. However, additional celebrations for thanksgiving seem to meet resistance among farmers who strongly support Trump.

What do US turkeys think about voting for Christmas

We met a few turkeys at US farms to ask about their opinion. Most of trumpist turkeys have been found to be supportive of the idea, in a surge of patriotic mood.

“We will make America great again”, shouted Turkey Bob even before we started our interview. It then added that “an expansion of Christmas celebration will re-shore farming industry, bringing back to US our food-processing activity, huge employment for all turkeys and sustainable growth for US turkey’s economy”.

Turkey Bob is the head of the Turkeys for Trump movement which is gaining larger membership subscriptions every day. Boasting hundreds of thousands of members, Turkeys for Trump has recently changed its name in Turkeys for Christmas. That is to tackle the even more successful new association among turkeys called Turkeys for Thanksgiving.

Turkeys for Thanksgiving: Making Turkeys Great Again

The chairman of Turkeys for Thanksgiving is even smarter than his old colleague. Besides supporting Thanksgiving celebrations, he (or it) is launching a partnership with farmers specialized in crops such as potatoes, garlic, onions and other vegetables.

We reached the head of Turkeys for Thanksgiving movement in a packed crowd of fellow turkeys in Iowa. All of them were busy in eating local productions of insects, seeds, fruits, nuts, and plants. Once we arrived at closer distance, they started to shout “U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A…”.

Although their slang is not easy to catch, we understood that their point is that an expansion of Thanksgiving celebrations, both in intensity and length, is the best recipe for their wellbeing. And that only Trump can deliver such a policy by granting them the right to vote for Thanksgiving.

Their voting rights for Thanksgiving will make turkeys great again by allowing farmers growing turkeys in US instead of other countries who make trade tricks to avoid Thanksgiving.

Export Thanksgiving celebrations

Indeed, Thanksgiving celebrations appear to take place almost exclusively in US. And US turkeys want to be part of it in ever growing numbers.

One solution could be to export precisely the Thanksgiving celebrations from US to other countries. And the US Turkey for Thanksgiving movement is doing all it can to make it happen.

In fact, in UK many British living abroad voted for Brexit in 2016 to cancel their right to live abroad. Their British fish and potatoes have been successfully fighting to be British and increase the consumption of Fish and Chips.

On cover, photo by Meelika Marzzarella on Unsplash unnintentionally modified with a MAGA hat.