Moscow Victory Day, more leaders politely renounce

Even Putin seems to have refused his own invitation to participate in Putin’s parade

by Gabriele Bonafede

No way. When it doesn’t go, it doesn’t go. Despite the promise of rich prizes and party favors, a free helicopter ride, home-delivery of a few tons of still-warm oil from refining, Putin is unable to get confirmation of participation for his Victory Day in Moscow on May 9.

Of course, the program is bizarre. There would be a big parade of today’s Nazi troops celebrating the victory over Nazism eighty years ago. Aside from the obvious contradiction, spending hours watching soldiers parading in the square is not inviting and would require a very healthy body.

Frankly, it also promises to be long and boring – and with a playlist that isn’t particularly interesting. You risk falling asleep on TV all over the world, as happened to Trump during Pope Francis’ funeral. In addition to the danger that even a single fart- perhaps due to a plate of beans too many – could cause panic.

Epidemic alarm among leaders invited to the Victory Day in Moscow, then withdrew

Of course, no one could have imagined the long string of polite messages showing the objective impossibility to attend. Some fell ill, others in hospital or with unexpected health problems. So much so that the WHO raised the alert about a possible epidemic.

But then other reasons arrived that made the epidemic alarm cease. Some leaders put their participation in doubt, others objectively have more important commitments: judo lesson, picnic with typical dishes together with relatives, problems of the wife, the dear grandmother’s birthday. International diplomacies are wondering about this situation without finding any particular reasons.

Even Luckashenko in doubt

But that’s life. The number of leaders who confirm their presence at the Victory Day in Moscow for May 9, 2025 is decreasing by the hour. Even second-level figures – such as defense ministers and the like – say they are perplexed by reasons of time, weather, transportation breakdowns. Even the most faithful of Putin’s allies, Lukashenko – the cheerful Belarusian dictator – has declared that his delay is probable.

In fact, Putin himself seems to have declined his own invitation to participate in Putin’s parade: he will watch it from the comfort of his home with a pre-organized audiovisual link.

Lula would prefer Feijoada with relatives, Modi a Judo lesson, Maduro got no fuel

Brazilian President Lula was prevented from going to Moscow, having already planned a trip with relatives to Pernambuco for a nice Feijoada – a typical Brazilian dish based on beans that must be eaten in company and which requires a long preparation.

It would be impossible for Modi to miss his judo lesson, under penalty of exclusion from the next district championships. The president of India would have proposed his Minister of Defense as a replacement, but he too would have been unable to go, due to an essential commitment covered by state secrecy.

The Venezuelan Maduro, on the other hand, would have actually left home to go to the airport in Caracas and from there take a plane to Moscow. But his car ran out of fuel, so he walked back to the presidency office to wait for the problem to be resolved.

While Fico declared himself ill, it seems that Orban followed him to the hospital. But perhaps this is just a baseless meme, at least for what concerns the Hungarian leader.

As a matter of fact, the Victory Day in Moscow risks turning into a flop that was difficult to predict until a few days ago.

Other articles on the SATIRE page of Maredolce (in English and Italian): here

Maredolce English edition, here.