Trump to seek self-exile in Vatican State

by Gabriele Bonafede

After a dire start of his presidency, Donald Trump is apparently edging on the likely outcome to be ousted from power. Approval rates plummeting, US economy in tatters, close allies quarrelling have all convinced the US president to consider a self-exile before is too late.

The White House announced Trump’s willingness to live in another country by making clear where he would go: the Vatican State.

In the social platform owned by former-ally Elon Musk, both Trump’s and The White House’s accounts circulated an image with Donald Trump dressed as a Pope (here).

Before applying publicly, Trump was certainly aware that accessing to this job requires certain pre-conditions and skills. Trump is surely endowed with a number of required skills, such as being against abortion, pro-monarchy and dictatures, pro-family, pro Roman Empire and pro-Putin. However, certain pre-requisites have to be yet demonstrated, such as being catholic and priest.

The job of Pope requires Trump to be resident of Vatican State

Above all, the job of Pope requires permanent residency in Vatican City, within Rome, Italy. Being a full time 7/7 days job, it requires too staying in the residency country for most of the time, except rare traveling missions pre-agreed with the Vatican’s management. In other words, Trump would have to self-exile from US to the Vatican State in order to fulfil his duties.

It looks like the offer could have substantial support from Vatican’s hiring managers currently meeting for the Conclave. Trump has always been showing admiration for the current Italian PM, Giorgia Meloni.

As the Vatican is a landlocked country, entirely surrounded by Italy, good relations with Italy are strategically important to avoid unwanted annexations. In addition, it seems that the Vatican’s army can count only on a few hundred men endowed with obsolete weapons of XVI century technology – although very well trained and with high morale. Good relations with Italy are therefore fundamental to avoid tactical problems.

However, a tariff of 10,000% would probably be the first commercial policy step of Trump as a Pope, because The Vatican imports almost everything from Italy, including food, medicines, cars, aluminium, copper, marble, spaghetti, wheat, wine and iron. In exchange Vatican State exports almost entirely sermon-items to Italy, although at massive quantities.

Photo in text by Stefano Vigorelli on Unsplash